


high society

by freewaffle



Series: high society [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Don't Take This Too Seriously, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:27:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22864801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freewaffle/pseuds/freewaffle
Summary: After years of struggling through the foster system, Naruto is taken in by his estranged, wealthy godfather and immersed in the melodrama of Tokyo's elite.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Series: high society [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725604
Comments: 22
Kudos: 326





	high society

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by gossip girl and it shows. Have fun with it!

_16_

* * *

Tokyo was bright, bustling, and noisy, neon lights contrasted vividly against inky black sky. The streets were lined with shops and street food stands, and heavy rain had done little to deter nighttime activities. Naruto would've loved it if he wasn't stranded in the middle of the city after his piece of shit godfather ran off with his money.

He restricted his search to bars, because of course he’d be in a bar. Unfortunately, all the hole in the wall places that would actually let him in without ID practically laughed in his face when he asked if they’d seen Jiraiya.

“You think _the_ Jiraiya would be at one of these places? Look, I don’t know if you're a big fan or whatever - “

“I’m not a fan, I’m his godson!”

“Sure you are. But you're not going to find Jiraiya at some half-assed place like this.”

Naruto stomped away in frustration. Jiraiya had built an empire for himself out of an apparently highly addictive novel series called Icha Icha Paradise. Naruto had cracked one open after his social worker, Iruka Umino, had informed him he had a long lost relative who happened to be filthy rich. The novels were basically gratuitous, kinky porn that Naruto felt vaguely nauseated after reading, but they had made Jiraiya one of the richest men in the world.

 _He’s a bit...eccentric,_ Iruka had told him.

_If by eccentric you mean he’s a depraved bastard, then yeah you got that right!_

_You don’t have to live with him._

Naruto shrugged. Pretty much all his legal guardians had been awful people, and he’d accepted his ideal fantasy of Iruka adopting him would never happen - he had young kids of his own, and he couldn't take in every struggling teenager he worked with - and Jiraiya already beat his other options by a long shot just by having a shit ton of money.

_Nah, I’ll live with him. Hey, didn't you say he’s got his own personal sauna? And a personal chef that can make me ramen anytime I want? I’d be stupid not to go live with him._

On hour three of looking for Jiraiya with no sign of him, Naruto was hoping that personal chef would be really fucking brilliant to make all this worth it.

He finally found him at some high end bar he had to wrestle his way into.

“Jiraiya!” He called out, ignoring the stares. Jiraiya had two women sitting in his lap, both holding martini glasses.

“Oh fuck, it's my godson,” he grumbled, prying the women away from him, and pulling Naruto off to the side.

“Can't you see I’m busy?” He hissed.

“You told me to give you some money so we could eat dinner, which was weird enough since you're already insanely rich for no reason, then you just disappeared!”

“Well, in case you couldn't tell, I was just about to eat some exotic dancer for dinner.” Jiraiya winked. Naruto thought he might throw up.

“What...What is wrong with you?!”

“What's wrong with you? I’m not taking you in if you're gonna cockblock me, kid. Also, who cares if I took your money, we’re family, what’s mine is yours and all that.”

“Oh okay, then I’ll just max out your credit card buying whatever I want when we get home then!”

“Home? Nah, we’re gonna be out late. We have to go to my old...acquaintance’s party tonight. Oh don't make that face, it's gonna be very classy and exclusive.”

“You got drunk before going to a classy and exclusive party?!”

“Yeah, I have to be buzzed before I talk to Orochimaru! Anyway, you have to come, everyone you're gonna be in school with will be attending. I mean, unless you wanna have no friends.”

Naruto sighed. He’d been an outcast his whole life because of his delinquency record, learning disabilities, and so on. He’d spent most of his childhood acting out for attention, and always being ignored. He wanted to make sure he left an impression on everyone this time.

“Yeah, okay, whatever. But you better not wander off again! Why would you leave if you knew we were going somewhere?”

Jiraiya grinned. “Well you found me, didn't you?”

They got kicked out a few minutes after that because Naruto attacked Jiraiya and then somehow started a bar fight. The details got fuzzy after someone accidentally punched him in the face.

“Oh man, that black eye is not gonna make a good first impression,” Jiraiya laughed as they rang the doorbell to Orochimaru’s mansion.

“Shut up.” Naruto replied shortly.

The door was opened by a man wearing thin, wiry glasses. Something about his face made Naruto want to beat the shit out of him, but he’d already been in a bar fight that night.

“You’re late,” the man said primly.

 _Yeah._ Naruto thought. _Really fucking punchable._

The mansion was as ostentatious on the inside as it was on the outside. The walls were painted red, the floors were tiled with marble, so thoroughly polished Naruto could see himself reflected in them. The food was in frustratingly small portions and didn't look particularly appetizing, but he was hungry enough to reach for it anyway. Jiraiya slapped his hand away.

“You can't eat until you meet with Orochimaru, we’re already late,” he growled in his ear. Naruto pouted as Jiraiya dragged him into the garden. It was still pouring out, but a veranda sheltered them from the rain.

There was a champagne fountain, which Jiraiya immediately gravitated towards with vague instructions about Orochimaru being the “creepy asshole with the dangly earrings.” Luckily, Naruto didn't have to look because the man approached him first.

“So you’re Jiraiya’s godson,” he purred. His face was oddly stiff and waxen.

But the most notable thing about Orochimaru wasn't any of his features. It was the boy standing next to him. He was a bit taller than Naruto, with sharp, angular features. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and he stood with a sort of easy, disaffected elegance. He looked back at him, bored, as if nothing anyone could have to say would possibly impress him.

He was unfortunately the most attractive person Naruto had ever encountered.

“Um, I...Hi.” He said, lamely. The boy didn't respond, and just arched an eyebrow like he couldn’t believe Naruto had spoken to him. Orochimaru smiled at the exchange.

“I’m so sorry about my Sasuke, he can be so unpleasant. Sasuke, Naruto will be one of your classmates.”

“Can I go home now?” Sasuke said, as if he hadn't heard him. Orochimaru chuckled like this was incredibly amusing.

“Not yet, you promised to stay until at least midnight. Oh look, there's your friend.”

He gestured towards a white haired boy who had just walked in, grinning lazily. Sasuke perked up marginally and strolled away.

“Tell me more about yourself, Naruto,” Orochimaru said, turning his attention back to him.

About ten minutes of meaningless small talk later, Naruto snapped out of the daze that came with meeting someone really, unrealistically, bizarrely good looking and decided to find Sasuke and demand what his problem was.

“Hey!” He cried out, when he saw Sasuke sitting at a bench with his friend later that night. “What the hell is your problem?”

“I really don't know what you mean,” Sasuke replied, sipping from a champagne glass.

“You just walked away without acknowledging me, like I don't even exist!”

Sasuke looked him up and down with disdain. “Why would I talk to someone who walked in covered in stains, a ripped shirt, and a black eye?”

“What - I - I was in a bar fight you asshole!”

“And you lost?” Sasuke smirked. “How embarrassing.”

Naruto nearly lunged at him before a blonde girl came in between them, ignoring him but immediately latching on to Sasuke.

“Sasukeeee,” she trilled, clearly tipsy. “I've missed you, where have you been all night?”

“Probably avoiding you,” said a voice behind them. A skinny kid with a ponytail walked over. He looked at Naruto carelessly.

“What happened to him,” he asked, as if Naruto wasn't present.

“He lost a bar fight,” Sasuke said, matter of fact.

“Why do you think I lost, huh?! Maybe I kicked his ass and got a black eye while I was doing it, ever think of that?”

“You just seem like the type who’d get his ass kicked,” Sasuke replied.

Naruto was about to punch Sasuke right in his stupid, perfect, aristocratic nose and show him exactly what “type” he was, when a loud crash disrupted their conversation.

“Oh boy,” the kid with the ponytail said. “Tsunade’s at it again.”

A woman with huge breasts had drunkenly climbed on top of a table and was throwing cash all around her. A pretty pink haired girl was attempting to dissuade her. Naruto wondered if he could grab some cash and make a run for it. Maybe get the girl’s number while he was at it.

“And of course Sakura’s there,” the blonde girl rolled her eyes. “We're her interns, but I just do my work and go home while Sakura tries to kiss her ass all the time. I keep telling her, Sakura, we’re rich, you don't need to put effort into things! Also Tsunade is too busy gambling away her inheritance to give a shit whether we do everything she says, anyway. But Sakura never listens.” She shook her head dramatically. “Anyway, I’m off. Shikamaru, are you coming?”

“I’m surprised, Ino, usually you drool over Sasuke for at least an hour longer than that.” Shikamaru replied as he followed her out.

Naruto was suddenly uncomfortably aware of being alone with Sasuke, who was drinking champagne like he didn't notice Naruto was still there. He tried to think of something to say, something so cool and impressive that Sasuke couldn’t possibly forget him, but nothing came to him.

“Hey, isn't that your godfather leaving?” Sasuke asked casually. Naruto balked.

“Oh no no no, you have got to be kidding me. Hey, Jiraiya!” He called out, but it was too late. He flopped down onto the bench in defeat.

“He has all my money! What am I supposed to do…” he said glumly.

“I’ll get you a cab.”

Naruto blinked. “What? Really?”

“Yeah.”

Naruto was extremely flattered until he remembered that Sasuke was super rich, rude as hell, and it was the least the bastard could do after treating him like shit.

“Right, well...get to it then!”

Sasuke pressed a button on his phone. “It should be here in fifteen minutes.” The rain immediately soaked them as they stepped out of the veranda, and Sasuke turned on his heel and walked into the mansion wordlessly.

_Asshole._

Naruto stood in the cold rain, shivering for another minute before attempting to return to the veranda, but the man with the glasses stopped him. “No re-entry,” he said smugly. Naruto was about to argue until he saw Sasuke...returning with an umbrella.

“What are you doing?” Sasuke said, pushing him back out and holding the umbrella up for both of them.

“Well...you just left!”

“Yeah. To get an umbrella.”

They waited in silence until the cab arrived. Silence usually made Naruto feel awkward, but this felt good. Natural. Safe.

“Um...okay...so...bye?” He said, as he stepped into the cab.

“See you around,” Sasuke replied, not quite unfriendly.

Naruto gave one last, fleeting look towards Sasuke, heavy rain splattering off his umbrella as he watched the cab pull away.

* * *

Ino Yamanaka decided to make him her pet project after that. Naruto wasn't sure why, but he didn't exactly try to resist. Hanging around Ino was a great way to get lots of useful information. Which he needed, because attending Tokyo Metropolitan Kokusai was the social equivalent of navigating a minefield.

“My family’s old money,” she told him happily, as they ate lunch on the cobblestone steps outside of their school. She wore heels to school, unbuttoned the first three buttons of her shirt, and rolled up her uniform skirt to make it shorter. Her best friend-slash-enemy Sakura Haruno was the opposite, with practical Oxford shoes and a shirt buttoned all the way up. She loved to call Ino a bimbo. Naruto was pretty sure he was going to run into them making out at a party eventually.

“Not a lot of families here are old money. Like, okay, Shikamaru and Chouji are, their dads are my dad’s business partners. But Sakura. Her parents are just brain surgeons.” She grimaced in disgust.

Naruto tried to make sense of what the hell she was talking about. “Ummm...isn't being a brain surgeon like a really good thing?”

“I guess, but it doesn't make you _rich_ rich. Like, Sakura is affording private school rich, but she isn't buying a yacht rich like the rest of us. Though I guess she at least isn't poor.” Ino chewed her sandwich thoughtfully. “Now see that kid Rock Lee, with the ugly bowl cut?” Naruto nodded. The kid was unfortunately a beast in their after school MMA class and had beat Naruto’s ass. “Yeah. He’s poor. He’s on scholarship.” Ino whispered that last part like it was a particularly dirty insult.

“The Hyuugas are also old money, but unfortunately they're super annoying.” As if on cue, a Hyuuga came walking down the stairs, turned beet red, and literally ran away.

“See?” Ino said. “Total weirdo. If she had a personality, I would invite her to drink on my boat. Anyway, there's also her cousin, he lives with her because his parents are dead or something, but he's also really weird. Like, he talks in paragraphs.”

“Oh I know,” Naruto said. Neji Hyuuga was the student body president and the most irritating person Naruto had ever met. “He talks like he's reading from a thesaurus!”

He let Ino prattle on about some of the other kids, how that girl Tenten came to school with a knife once and how that guy Shino kept an ant farm, before finally asking what he really wanted to know.

“So, uh, Sasuke Uchiha. What's his deal?” He tried to sound like he didn't care less, not looking at her.

“Huh? Oh, Sasuke’s just the best. I mean he's not that nice and we’ve never had a conversation and he actually isn't even old money, but he's hot and good at sports, so you know. I have to date him.”

“Wait, he isn't old money? I thought he was Orochimaru’s son?”

“Orochimaru is like, self made. He created Oto, they do fancy biomedical research. He adopts kids all the time. Sasuke is just his favorite. He got him two years ago.”

“Oh. So Sasuke doesn’t really have parents.” _Just like me_ , Naruto thought.

“Yeah, his real parents were murdered.”

“What?!”

“I know, isn't he such a badass?”

“No, I mean, how did it happen?”

“Some politics thing,” Ino said, waving her hand vaguely. “His dad was running against Danzo Shimura, and you know how Danzo hates people on the left, and this guy was _really_ left, so he hired hit men to take out him and his wife. Of course, the official story is that his older brother just went crazy and did it, he's actually in prison for it, but we all know what really happened.”

“Who’s ‘we all’?”

“You know.” Ino shrugged. “Mega rich people.”

“And you're not gonna do anything about it?!”

“Why would we? Danzo Shimura is serving his second term as prime minister. Also, he loves rich people. He's a conservative.” Ino finished off her sandwich. “This is boring and depressing. Don't you have anything fun to ask?”

Naruto was about to ask her how she could be such a bitch about someone’s dead parents when it occurred to him he did have something fun to ask. “Orochimaru...why didn't his face move when he talked?”

Ino stared. “Isn't it obvious? Lots and lots of Botox.”

* * *

Naruto finally got a chance to talk to Sasuke again a few days into the semester, when he showed up to MMA after school.

“No offense, but if you spar with him, I’m definitely gonna be cheering for him,” Ino said.

“That’ll just be embarrassing for you when I kick his ass,” Naruto shot back, grinning sharply.

He quickly caught onto to the fact that it wasn't just Ino with the Sasuke obsession - it was virtually every girl. He saw Sakura Haruno lurking near practice, blushing hotly when Sasuke glanced at her.

Okay, this was officially getting annoying.

“Hey, bastard,” he said, walking up to him. “Fight me.”

“You should try someone easier than me,” Sasuke said, not even looking towards him, packing up his equipment for the day.

“Scared?” Naruto taunted. Sasuke stopped packing, and peered up at him.

“...Fine.” He stood up and walked into the ring. “Just remember you asked for it.”

They faced each other, and Naruto felt a steady thrum of energy course through his veins. He had nearly flunked out of school every year, but he’d always been athletic, and MMA was his speciality. This, he knew, would get everyone’s attention.

Sasuke struck first, lightning fast. He landed a hard kick on Naruto’s chest, knocking him back.

 _Damn_ , Naruto thought, wincing. _Pretty boy can actually fight._

Naruto tried to remember his basics and root himself. He managed to get a few hits in, but quickly realized Sasuke could match him blow for blow. A crowd gathered around them, fascinated.

In the end, they fought until they’d exhausted themselves, coming close to a draw, but Sasuke struck a finishing blow. Naruto was simultaneously annoyed and exhilarated. Sasuke was looking at him like he didn't quite know what to make of him.

“Oh my god,” Ino said, when they went to get iced coffee together afterwards. “I have never seen anyone even come close to matching Sasuke! And you don't even have formal training!”

“Yeah, I was pretty awesome,” Naruto said, soaking up the attention. “Next time I’ll actually beat him!”

“Naruto, he’s a prodigy. Why do you care about one-upping him so much?”

“I dunno,” Naruto said, sipping his coffee noisily. “I just...I just do, okay!” _Because almost beating Sasuke got him to look at me. Actually look at me_.

The Hyuuga girl from before approached him at the coffee shop. “Um, um,” she said, scrambling to pull something out of her bag, “I kn-knitted a scarf for y-you.”

“Uh, thanks!” Naruto said. She immediately turned red and ran off.

“I still don't know what her name is,” he told Ino.

“Honestly? Me neither.”

* * *

Naruto spent the next few days feeling like he’d developed a sixth sense. A sixth sense that forced him to be constantly, unendingly, hyper aware of Sasuke Uchiha.

He felt his attention drift towards him, laser sharp, as he took notes in class, oblivious to Naruto’s presence. Sasuke took his time with long, detailed math equations, meticulously took notes in his history, but he dozed off almost daily when they covered mythology from the Nara period in their Literature course. He ate the same thing almost every day - onigiri, with sliced tomatoes on the side. Occasionally some fruit, and no drink other than water. Sometimes, he frequented the archery field after school. Not that Naruto noticed or cared or anything...they just ran into each other so often, that now all this useless and unnecessary information was crammed in his head. Or so he told Ino.

He got a chance to actually talk to Sasuke at Kiba Inuzuka’s party that weekend.

“The first thing you need to know is that Kiba is a loser. The second thing you need to know is he has a giant pool and we’re all gonna swim in it at some point, so wear swim trunks underneath your pants.” Ino told him, holding a blue shirt up to his face. “Yeah, this’ll look good for Sasuke”

Naruto gaped. “Why would I wanna look good for him? I’m not a girl, yanno!”

“Yeah but, aren't you gay? I mean, you're so obsessed.”

Naruto formed words for a few seconds, but no sound came out. “That’s - that's crazy! Sasuke's a smug, stuck up, socially stunted bastard - “

“You're right, he's not that great. I think that new kid Sai is hotter, actually.”

Naruto felt another surge of anger, but for entirely different reasons. “Are you kidding me? Sasuke is way hotter, smarter, cooler than Sai, and also - ” He stopped, seeing the knowing smile on Ino’s face.

“......Can we just go to the party?”

The party was loud, gross, and the strobing lights made Naruto feel kind of dizzy. Ino immediately disappeared from his side, as was typical of her. He tried to seek out Sasuke, but was distracted by the sight of Ino and Kiba making out in the corner.

“I thought you said he was a loser!” He yelled at her.

“You said I was a loser?” Kiba sounded like he was fighting back tears.

“I mean, I say a lot of things!”

Naruto decided to ignore their fight and continue looking for Sasuke. He found him at a table with three kind of weird kids who he’d learned were genuinely Sasuke’s friends.

“Hey, Sasuke - is that _cocaine_?”

Sasuke sat up from the table. “What? I only do it occasionally at these parties. And before big tests. And on days Orochimaru is pissing me off.”

“Which is most days,” Suigetsu said, grinning.

“I just...wanted to know if you wanted to go night swimming. Since, uh, Kiba has a pool and he says anyone can use it.”

There was a long silence. Naruto realized that it wasn't normal for a guy to ask another guy if he wanted to go night swimming. That it was weird. Creepy. Gay. He felt his face grow hot as Suigetsu began laughing, and Karin looked at him like he’d grown another head.

He was considering playing it off as a joke until Sasuke said, “sure”.

Naruto felt like the ground was crumbling beneath him as Sasuke walked towards the pool.

“Let’s go to the hot tub instead. You’re obviously drunk and you’d probably just drown if we tried to go for an actual swim.”

“Uh huh,” Naruto replied, grinning at the lame excuse. He had a feeling Sasuke knew he had barely drank that night. It just so happened that the pool was incredibly crowded already... _and maybe he wants to be alone with me too._

The moon reflected in the hot tub, and Naruto couldn't help but note this whole setting was kind of romantic. There was free sake next to them. Sasuke poured them both a glass. They undressed down to their swim trunks and slid in.

“Ohhh man, that feels amazing!” Naruto wiggled his toes in the hot tub. “You know what, Sasuke, when we first met I thought you were a totally obnoxious prick, but you actually have good ideas sometimes.”

“Hn. I thought you were an idiot.”

Naruto took a big gulp of his champagne. It made him feel braver. “And now?” He smiled brightly at Sasuke and moved closer than he probably should.

Sasuke smirked at him. “Still think you're an idiot.”

“Hey!”

He tried to swat at Sasuke’s arm, but he swiftly caught his hand. “Tch. Too slow, loser.”

“Whatever! Prissy bitch.”

“Dumbass.”

“Asshole.”

“Dead last.”

“Bastard.”

“Freak.”

“Mopey douche with hair that looks like a duck’s ass - hey, are you laughing?”

Sure enough, Sasuke had actually laughed. _Figures the first time I hear him laugh, it would be at me._

“It’s just funny,” Sasuke said. “When you get all worked up.”

He looked sort of pretty, in the translucent blue lighting surrounding the hot tub, the faint light of the moon, more relaxed than Naruto had ever seen him.

 _I’ve just gotta go for it,_ Naruto thought.

Maybe it was the champagne. Or the ambience. Or Sasuke looking mildly impatient, like he wanted him to make a move. But Naruto suddenly felt bold enough to put his arm around Sasuke.

“Stop. Don't do that.”

Naruto immediately jumped away. “I’m so sorry, I didn't mean to cross a line - “

“No, idiot, it’ll make it uncomfortable when we do this.” And then Sasuke was leaning in, and Naruto could see every individual eyelash, feel their noses brush, and dammit the asshole’s skin was flawless even up close - and then the slightest, briefest touch of lips.

And then he heard shrieking.

“Oh my god!” It was that girl Tenten, clutching onto Neji Hyuuga of all people. “Sasuke Uchiha kissing Naruto Uzumaki!”

Then she whipped out her phone and took a photo of them close together.

School was going to be difficult the next morning, to say the least.

“You have to get dirt on her before she successfully spreads dirt on you,” Ino told him frantically, as they took a cab to school together the next morning.

“It’s just a photo of us next to each other! How is that even dirt?!”

“Oh, yeah, sure, two guys sitting alone in a hot tub, three centimeters apart because they're not gay. Use your brain, Naruto! Everyone knows you're obsessed with Sasuke, it won't be long before they put two and two together. Plus, this would explain why Sasuke never shows interest in any girl.”

“Hey, didn't you wanna date him or something?” Naruto scratched his cheek irritably. “Won't this screw up your whole plan?”

Ino looked confused. “I can still date him.”

“Yeah, I don't think you get what being gay means.”

“I do! Mom always says there's nothing better than being a beard. You can cheat on each other and still get along, you won't have to have sex with them once you're old and gross to preserve intimacy or whatever, and men who really need beards are usually in high places. So you probably will get money and a nice house out of it.” Ino sighed dreamily, then suddenly perked up. “Hey, if the Sasuke thing doesn't work out, maybe I can be your beard instead!”

“I’m not gay!”

When they got to school, Sasuke refused to even look at him. _He regrets last night_ , Naruto thought, his heart sinking. It was impossible to concentrate on class the rest of the day. He was too busy remembering what it felt like to have Sasuke so close, but somehow he’d screwed up everything and would never get to have that again.

They didn’t talk the rest of the week. Naruto was sullen and irritable with everyone until Ino approached him with a plan.

“Did you know Tenten cheated on Neji with Kiba?”

“Kiba?” Naruto laughed. “Oh man, that's just embarrassing.”

“I know! That’s why we’re gonna expose her at the Hyuuga brunch this Sunday. All our parents are gonna be invited, we just have to tag along.”

Naruto considered this. Revenge wasn't usually his style, but if they could take down Tenten, she would stop spreading gay rumors about him and Sasuke. Then Sasuke would get over whatever panic he was having, and they could hang out again.

“I’m in,” he said, thinking of all the platonic, completely experimental, not gay kissing him and Sasuke could do if this plan succeeded.

* * *

The Hyuuga manor was a glaring, luminescent white. The interior walls were also white. The floor was white. The tables and chairs were white.

“This is so weird,” Ino said, standing out starkly in her bright, pink dress.

Hiashi Hyuuga greeted them grudgingly. “The invitations clearly said black and white only. See, Hanabi is wearing black. Her sister is wearing white.”

Sure enough, Hanabi was in a black, ankle length gown while that girl whose name Naruto couldn’t remember was in a white babydoll dress.

“H-hello, Naruto-kun…” she said, ducking her head and blushing.

“Hi, um….”

“Do you play any instruments?” Hanabi suddenly asked him. Naruto stared.

“Uh, no?”

“I play cello, piano, flute, and recently have become proficient in the ukulele. I have also maintained perfect grades. Father says I am a very special girl, and my existence is the only thing that prevents him from, and I quote, “blowing his brains out”, because at least both his offspring aren't irredeemable failures.”

Naruto smiled uneasily. “That's...so awesome.”

Jiraiya gripped his shoulders tightly and steered him away. “Listen kid, do not interact with a Hyuuga.” He muttered under his breath. “We’re only here so I can schmooze with a director who wants to make a sequel to Icha Icha Paradise: The Movie and drink mimosas, and you're here...to do whatever it is you do. Do not, and I repeat, do not interact with any Hyuuga.”

“I won't, jeez!” Naruto whined. _I’m just gonna completely destroy that one Hyuuga’s girlfriend’s reputation so I can get Sasuke back._

“So what’s the plan again?” He asked Ino as she downed mimosa after mimosa.

“Oh, I have these photos of Tenten and Kiba making out in a theatre. We just have to show Neji, and knowing him he’ll publicly give a speech about it. Then her reputation will be ruined and no one will care that you and Sasuke are gay. Easy.”

“We’re not gay,” Naruto said. “But yeah, that sounds perfect!”

They scoped the area for Neji Hyuuga. Naruto noticed, with a pang in his heart, that Sasuke was present too. He was stealing croissants and stuffing them into a bag with Suigetsu, probably so they could leave and eat by themselves. Naruto wanted to approach him, but then remembered the two boys who had made dick sucking noises at him at MMA the other day, and that rumors from Tokyo Metropolitan Kokusai didn’t stay within the school, but actually reached tabloids. A natural side effect of everyone being the children of socialites. Naruto wouldn’t drag Sasuke into this, even if it meant not interacting with him until the rumors had cleared.

They finally tracked down Neji. He was coming downstairs, oddly disheveled, with Rock Lee trailing him.

“Good morning. I hope you two are enjoying brunch.”

“We were,” Ino said, before putting on a sad face. “But then we found out something awful, and we thought you should know.”

“What is it?”

Ino held out the photos. Neji took them from her, and went through them, unphased. Rock Lee looked at them over his shoulder.

“Impressive! I had no idea Tenten was so fully enjoying her youth!”

“Okay, but aren't you pissed your friend’s girlfriend is cheating on him?” Naruto squinted at them in confusion.

Rock Lee looked uncomfortable. “Oh. Um. Yes! Neji! I am outraged on your behalf!”

“It's fine,” Neji said, sighing. “I saw this coming. It was in my horoscope. According to the stars, all cancers will be cheated on within the next week.”

Naruto and Ino exchanged glances. Neji was really into astrology. He sometimes told people exactly how he thought they would die based on their mercury placement.

“Yes, so, if you’ll excuse me.” Neji set off, taking Lee with him.

“Well, that was the worst plan ever!” Naruto cried out. “What do we do now?”

“I dunno,” Ino shrugged. “We could try leaking the photos, but I’ll be honest with you, I don’t think cheating beats gay rumors. Especially if Neji doesn't care.”

Naruto groaned. “Why does everyone care so much what’re doing? You know what, I’m just gonna apologize to Sasuke for all this, and then I’ll just…” he wanted to say not talk to him but the prospect left a strange, sinking feeling in his chest. Ino looked concerned. He forced a smile.

“I’ll just… be right back!”

“Hey, Sasuke.” He approached him warily. He was sitting on the steps of the Hyuuga manor eating croissants with Suigetsu.

“Oh shit, I’m gonna leave. Do not wanna be a part of this.” Suigetsu took the rest of the croissants and left. Sasuke glared at Naruto.

“What do you want?”

“I guess...I just wanted to tell you I understand if you're upset about the gay rumors. I mean, they're completely inaccurate, since you're so obviously straight. And I am too. So we have nothing to worry about! We just got carried away, and I’m sorry if anyone gave you shit for it.” Naruto put on his brightest smile. Sasuke looked unimpressed.

“Naruto, I’m gay.”

Naruto’s jaw dropped. “What? You're fucking with me!”

“No, I’m gay. And I don’t really care about rumors.” His glare turned even more poisonous, if possible. Even with croissant crumbs all over his mouth and looking like he wanted to murder him, Sasuke was really pretty.

“So...why were you avoiding me?”

Sasuke sighed, and looked down at his hands. “I just don't wanna be involved with someone like that. If you can't accept that, we can't be friends.”

“Sasuke, of course I can accept it! It was just...a completely meaningless kiss between friends! We can do regular bro stuff, like playing video games!”

Sasuke looked unconvinced. “Promise?”

“Yeah! Seriously.”

Sasuke looked at him for a moment, before that familiar smirk spread across his face. “Fine. I’ll come over to your place tomorrow to play video games. But, just know I’m gonna kick your ass,”

“What? Don't get cocky, bastard, there’s no way you're beating me!” But Naruto could hardly feign outrage, even as a joke, with Sasuke smiling at and talking to him again. They were friends. He would see him tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that. Maybe with no end to it at all.

* * *

Sasuke became a regular fixture at Naruto’s place after that. He was around often - too often, according to Jiraiya - whether it was to play video games, tutor Naruto through his math homework (Naruto significantly improved), teach him a few moves (Naruto actually beat him at MMA), or get high on Jiraiya’s towering rooftop under the stars.

“I don't smoke,” Sasuke had said sternly, the first time Naruto had offered. “It slows me down.”

“But cocaine is fine?”

Sasuke looked at him like that was the most absurd thing he’d ever heard. “Yes? It doesn't slow me down.”

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay. I've never met someone who clearly needs to get high as badly as you do, Sasuke.”

In all honesty, Naruto had been squeamish about drug use until he had met Ino and Shikamaru, but he wasn't gonna tell Sasuke that.

Sasuke was the first person Naruto had ever had over at his house. Naruto taught him how to blow smoke rings, like he’d picked up from Shikamaru, and sat disgruntled as Sasuke immediately picked it up and taught himself a few more tricks in the process. Sasuke was the one he called when Jiraiya was out late, doing who knows what, and the empty vastness of his mansion allowed Naruto too much time alone with his worst thoughts. They never talked about the years Naruto had spent passed around, or Sasuke’s dead parents, or his brother in prison that Naruto knew he visited sometimes, or the gulf of disconnect between them and the other kids at school, who couldn't possibly begin to grasp what either of them had been through. But they didn't have to. It was enough to just be near each other.

One day, Jiraiya’s personal chef, Teuchi, offered to teach them how to cook. And by teach, he meant leave them with ingredients and basic instruction, probably so Naruto would get off his back and let him watch his telenovelas that night.

“Can we make ramen?!” Naruto gasped in excitement.

“What else would we be making, loser?” Sasuke scuffed him over the head. “Knowing you.”

“Wait, hold on, lemme decide what toppings I want.” Naruto scrunched his eyes shut, deep in thought. “Ummm...I think - “

“Scallions, roast pork, fish cake, bamboo shoots, garlic, fried eggs.” Sasuke told Teuchi smugly. Naruto felt flustered. Did he really hang around Sasuke that much?

“Help me prepare the tonkotsu broth, Sasuke. Naruto, please slice the scallions.” Teuchi said, gently. Naruto noted that Sasuke was surprisingly adept in the kitchen.

“Hey, why do you even know how to cook? Don't you have a personal chef?”

“Yeah, Kabuto, and his cooking is shit. No one but Orochimaru likes it. He tried to make me eat a placenta.” Sasuke brought out the garlic. “But I can only make a few things.”

“Awww, did we finally find something Sasuke isn’t good at?” Naruto grinned.

“Probably still better at it than you.”

They argued over whether Naruto could cook better than Sasuke - “popping instant ramen cups into a microwave isn't cooking,” Sasuke informed him - which spiraled into another argument about things Sasuke sucked at.

“The first, obviously, is socializing.”

“Tch. Like you're any better at it, loser.”

“The second,” Naruto continued, unperturbed. “You look stupid in our literature class when you fall asleep.”

“I don't fall asleep.” Sasuke said haughtily.

“Uh, yeah you do. You get so bored, it’s obvious. And the third,” Naruto grinned, “you suck at doing your hair. Why do you even gel it up?”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “Up? I gel it down.”

“What?”

“It sticks up even more if I don't,” Sasuke said, patting at the duck butt. Naruto stared, and then promptly burst out laughing.

“That's - I mean - man, if the girls at school knew - “

“Maybe they should know, they'd finally piss off,” Sasuke said, taking a sip of the broth.

“Nah, it probably wouldn't make a difference. I mean, you’d still be hot.”

There was silence, as it dawned on Naruto what he’d just admitted to. Sasuke’s face betrayed nothing, and Naruto tried to think of ways to play it off. Luckily, Sasuke changed the subject.

“So tell me,” he said, conversationally. “How you ended up named after a ramen topping.”

“Hey, I was actually named after a porn novel character that was named after a ramen topping!”

Sometimes Naruto would indulge in petty arguing with Sasuke because it was fun. And other times, it was because that feeling, overwhelming and perplexing, crept up on him. The one where he knew Sasuke was his friend, his best friend, so of course he liked him a lot. But because Sasuke was his friend, his best friend, it was wrong to like him like _that_. Entirely experimental drunken almost-kiss in a hot tub at the beginning of the semester aside, Naruto was straight, and Sasuke...wasn't, which he totally supported, but that didn't mean Sasuke wanted him.

He had done a pretty good job of putting all related thoughts out of his mind until the snowflake ball was announced.

“The actual ball part is pretty boring,” Ino explained over lunch. “Like, it’s fine and everything, but it’s the after party that gets into every tabloid and trends on twitter.”

“I've heard of it! But isn't it like some fancy socialite thing?”

Ino laughed. “You understand that you are a socialite at this point, right? Anyway, it’s thrown by a different person each year, and this time it’s going to be Shikamaru’s new girlfriend. She's kind of a bitch, but I think Shikamaru needs that sometimes.” She paused. “Oh, and her little brother is a freak. Steer clear.”

Ino and Sakura spent the rest of the week trying to get him a date. Naruto went along grudgingly, his thoughts continually straying to one person no matter how hard he tried to put it out of his mind.

“Hey, why don't you ask Hinata?” Sakura asked thoughtfully one afternoon, as they were sprawled out in Ino’s room.

“Who? Hey, maybe we should go together, Sakura, you're kinda hot!” Naruto grinned cheekily and Sakura rolled her eyes.

“Shut up Naruto. But seriously, you know Hinata Hyuuga is in love with you right?”

“I literally don't know who you’re talking about,” Ino said, painting her toenails.

“Uhhh, do you mean Neji?” Naruto asked. “Because he’s a boy, don't let the long pretty hair confuse you.”

“Yeah, you’re being so gender essentialist, Sakura,” Ino said, blowing on her nails.

“I wasn't - oh, never mind. Is Sasuke coming?” Sakura asked, hopeful.

“If he is, he's not going with you,” Ino said, snorting.

“You don't know that!”

“Didn't he reject you at breakfast this morning,” Naruto said, scratching his cheek.

“And at Tenten’s party last week,” Ino chimed in.

“And at lunch a week ago, and when we were at Shikamaru’s beach house that weekend, and when - “

“I get it.” Sakura said, irritated.

“Hey don't get offended, Sakura! Like I said, I still think you’re hot.” Naruto got a pillow shoved in his face for that comment.

They rented a limo to go to the ball together. Sasuke would be arriving separately with Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo, which disappointed Naruto, but he didn't have time to dwell on it with Ino and Kiba shoving alcohol at him the minute he stepped inside.

“Come on, we’re trying to pregame, so no sulking!” Ino reprimanded.

“Yeah, and no doing that weird thing where you say Sasuke all wistfully then space out.” Kiba added.

The back of the limo was cramped, but Naruto was buzzed enough within a few minutes that he didn't really care.

“Whoah, is that Temari?” He said, going through Instagram. “She's actually hot! Shikamaru, how the hell is she dating you?” He snickered. Shikamaru looked put out.

“If you really need to know, we met on reddit. We have a lot of similar opinions, like the only truly functioning economy is one where the market is completely unregulated.”

“Of course you think that,” Neji said scathingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shikamaru asked, toying with his vape pen and absent mindedly scratching at his ass.

Neji stared at him blankly. “If you don't already know, I can't explain it to you. Would anyone like more champagne?”

They finally arrived at the ball, shuffling out of the limo in various degrees of dishevelment.

“Oh, you're here. Did you enjoy breathing in Shikamaru’s second hand smoke?” Sasuke asked, walking up to Naruto.

“Don’t be jealous, Sasuke, there’s plenty to go around,” Shikamaru said, breathing out smoke in his face. Naruto laughed as Sasuke made a face.

“Where’s Karin, Jugo, and Suigetsu?” Naruto asked, looking around.

“Oh, Karin and Jugo are dancing. They’re here together. Suigetsu’s getting me a drink.”

It took a minute for Naruto to grasp the implication.

“So...Suigetsu...is your date?” Naruto said, forcing a smile.

“Yeah.”

“You and him are here together?”

“Pretty much.”

“You’re gonna hook up at the after party?”

“Probably.”

Naruto felt like he might throw up the little alcohol he’d had.

The rest of the ball was torture. It was impossible for him to talk to Sasuke without imagining Suigetsu with him a few hours later, and it was impossible to pick up girls knowing Sasuke was there, looking gorgeous, and somehow not there with him.

 _I just want Sasuke to be happy_ , he recited internally. _It’s none of my business who he dates. None at all. Even if it’s that smug slimy obnoxious stuck up creep Suigetsu. Not my business. At all._

He spent the entire ball in a corner, drinking from a flask. At some point, Ino came up behind him and pinched his elbow.

“Can you get a grip? You're acting like you got divorced after twenty years of marriage. So he’s with someone else, just sabotage them like a normal person instead of sulking about it!”

“I can't.”

“Why not?!”

“Because I care about his happiness and shit.” Naruto said miserably.

Ino looked disgusted. “God, you are such a loser.”

Naruto was still miserable as the ball ended, but Ino made him promise he would at least perk up for the after party. “Seriously,” she said, “you’re killing the mood.”

The after party was, just as Ino said, a huge improvement on the snowflake ball. The music was deafening, the lights were disorienting, there was a huge, open bar, and the sweaty bodies cramped together on the dance floor made conversation impossible. He couldn't figure out where Sasuke was, or who he was with, and for the moment that’s exactly what he needed.

“Why don't you hook up with someone?” Kiba called out from behind him. “You’ve been sulking all night, and right now, literally anyone is available.”

“Just not in the mood!” Naruto yelled back. If he was being honest, he still had this romantic notion of first kisses, first make outs, first everything being something special, but he wasn't about to tell Kiba of all people that.

He spotted Ino and Sakura making out, briefly illuminated by glaring red light, and whipped around to smile at Kiba.

“What did I tell you? You owe me a fifty!” He said. Kiba rolled his eyes.

“You're such an amateur. No one else here would just bet fifty. That's, like, one breakfast.”

He tried to request a song change, but a red headed kid with thick, exaggerated eye liner stopped him.

“It’s my turn, and I’m requesting Korn,” he said, breathing heavily. Kiba laughed.

“Korn? Dude, this is a party.”

For a moment the kid was silent, then suddenly, he took a glass from the open bar, smashed it into shards, then pierced the shards into Kiba’s hand.

“Ow! Man, what the fuck?”

“Too many people,” the kid said, still breathing heavily.

“Okay, I’m leaving,” Naruto said. This party was getting weird.

He meant to walk outside just to get some fresh air, when he saw the last person he wanted to see. Sasuke was pacing outside, on his cellphone, speaking in a tense, low voice Naruto had come to recognize as him being extremely pissed.

“Is there any way we can prove his innocence even with his confession? This is so - fine. Whatever. I’m calling again later.” He snapped the phone shut and looked up to see Naruto. His expression didn't change.

“What did you hear?” He asked coldly.

“Nothing! But I mean, if you're in some kind of trouble or something...we can talk.” Naruto tried to sound warm, but Sasuke’s menacing glare wasn't helping the situation.

“Itachi confessed,” he said flatly. “I used Orochimaru’s money to hire the best private investigators and lawyers I could, and Itachi confessed. Again. In more detail, with his own evidence. I have never seen anyone work so hard to be proven guilty.”

“But...why? Doesn't he want justice for your parents’ murders?”

Sasuke scoffed. “He thinks it was justified. A necessary sacrifice. Because they were planning to put a hit out on Danzo first. Except, they were only planning it because they found out they’d been spied on and Danzo murdered my cousin Shisui already, so he had it coming. But Itachi won’t expose him, out of some warped sense of national duty.”

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. “Well maybe...he thinks, since Danzo is our prime minister, that it could cause problems for the country? Maybe he thinks he has to take the fall to avoid unintended consequences?”

This was, evidently, the wrong thing to say, as the look on Sasuke’s face was murderous.

“Did he ever consider there might be unintended consequences to keeping a hard liner conservative that puts hits out on his political opponents in office, and staying in prison while I’m stuck with that creep Orochimaru?”

Okay, Naruto had to admit. When phrased like that, Itachi sounded kind of delusional.

Naruto was racking his brain for the right words, anything to make Sasuke feel better, to de escalate the situation, when Sasuke sneered at him. Not his usual playful, cocky smirk, or that rare, genuine, fond smile reserved for Naruto only.

“I bet you’d love to be the shoulder to cry on. I bet you’re even glad I’m in this mess so you could show up at the right moment.”

“What? Sasuke, are you crazy?”

“This is exactly why I’m here with Suigetsu, and not you. You’re always seeing things you shouldn’t. Getting involved when it’s none of your business.”

“When have I ever asked about your business before today - “

“Why would you understand anyway? You were an orphaned nobody. You didn't have anyone to begin with, so how could you grasp what it’s like to lose someone?”

“I’m not saying I get it!” Naruto cried out, wishing he could sound more angry and less like he was about to burst into tears. “It’s true, I didn’t have a family, but you and me - we’re like brothers - “

Sasuke just shook his head and walked inside, slamming the door shut before he could finish speaking, and leaving him in the cold.

When he finally decided to come back in, Sasuke was nowhere to be found. Kiba and the redhead kid, on the other hand, were caught up in some kind of fight.

“He bit me! That freak actually bit me!” Kiba was howling.

Temari was holding back her brother, who was practically foaming at the mouth. “Let go of me, Temari.” He growled.

“Gaara, you’re embarrassing me - hey!” He bit her too. _The crazy fucker actually bit her_ , Naruto thought. He sighed and got in between the kid and Kiba. It was obvious none of these rich kids actually knew how to fight.

He wound his arm back, and punched Gaara clean in the face, immediately knocking him out.

“Anyone else got a problem?” Naruto said to the crowd gathered around them. He was met with complete silence at first. But then people began pulling their phones out, taking shots of him with a bloody fist and Gaara knocked out at his feet, and Naruto knew he’d be making tabloid headlines the next morning.

* * *

_Troubled foster kid taken in by Jiraiya beats up son of Japanese Ambassador_ , Jiraiya read out loud. “One semester and you've already managed to be the center of a national scandal. I’m actually proud.”

“Who cares,” Naruto said, stabbing his omelette. Sasuke hadn't been in school for a week.

“Well, I know how that kid can get, so I don't blame you,” Jiraiya said. “His father is a piece of work. Put him through hell, and now that the kid’s messed up, he wants nothing to do with him.” He poured himself more coffee. Naruto felt a twinge of sympathy for Gaara. He’d never bitten people or listened to Korn, sure, but the way he’d used to cope with his various traumas hadn’t exactly endeared him to people.

“Hey, can I actually invite Gaara over later?” He asked. Jiraiya snorted.

“Sure, it’s your reputation. If you wanna shoot it to hell, be my guest.”

Apart from being featured in gossip columns and whispered about in hallways, Naruto spent most of his time preoccupied with thoughts of Sasuke. Well, even more preoccupied than usual.

“Has it ever occurred to you,” Jiraiya asked, one morning, with thinly concealed frustration, “that Sasuke may not be coming back?”

“Sasuke wouldn't just leave!”

“Why not? Look, that kid has been hanging around you for a long time, and I can see the type of person he is. You make him feel a certain way, and he blames you for it. He said some very unkind things to you at that party, you were inconsolable after - “

“Yeah, but he was going through a hard time!”

“It doesn't matter! He lashed out at you when you were trying to help, then disappeared without a word, knowing you've spent most of your life being abandoned.”

“You’re one of the people who abandoned me!” The words slipped out before Naruto could help himself. “Seriously, you were busy chasing women and getting drunk off your ass while I was going through hell.”

“And I’m trying to make up for it. And one of the ways I’m gonna make up for it is by being honest with you. Sasuke isn’t reliable. Stop reaching out to him.” Jiraiya said, uncharacteristically grave.

“If my friend needs me,” Naruto said hotly, “then I’m gonna be there. And I don't really care what you or anyone else has to say about it!”

But in the end, it didn’t matter. Another week passed and he didn't hear from Sasuke. A month passed and he didn’t hear from Sasuke. Three months. Six months.

The last messages between them, typed by Naruto’s shaking hands, read _I don't know what I did but I wish you would talk to me. I’m really sorry._

* * *

_18_

The sun beat down directly from the center of the sky. Naruto climbed back on Suigetsu’s rented boat, refreshed from the cool, salty water. Kiba trailed behind and shook himself like a dog, splattering water onto shrieking girls.

“Hey!” Ino said, walking over to him. “Jell-O shot?”

“Sure!” Naruto beamed, mixing it with his finger and slurping it in one go. “This was such a good idea.”

“I know.” Ino said proudly. They had graduated and had only a few weeks left before college, so Ino and Suigetsu had decided to fund an all expenses paid vacation for the entire graduating class. They were currently docked off the coast of Greece.

Naruto had begun noticing, midway through their final year of highschool, that everyone had started dating someone. Suigetsu and Karin were dating in some bizarre display of compulsory heterosexuality. Sakura had channeled her anger issues into getting really jacked, which Ino found hot, and so she was currently flailing drunkenly in her intimidatingly buff arms (seriously, Naruto was kind of jealous) shrieking about how she was going to be a trophy wife to a genius surgeon. Shikamaru and Temari had been dating for years and had settled into an old married type thing three days into their relationship, that wasn't a surprise. Shino was dating Tenten, and Naruto figured they bonded over their shared irrelevance to their friend group.

It was only natural then, that he also started to date someone. He couldn't obsess over being Sasuke’s completely platonic super close friend forever. He had to be in an actual relationship. And it just so happened that Hinata Hyuuga pushed him out of the way of a speeding car one day, confessed her love as she thought she was dying, let him cry on her, and then...well, he sort of forgot about it for a while as she recovered in the hospital.

But then she showed up post-recovery with immaculate hair and makeup, thigh high boots, and he hallucinated all the times she had stuttered at him once during an acid trip. It was then that he decided he just had to be with Hinata. They would probably get married and have a child within the next year.

“Hi sweetie,” she said, kissing him lightly on the cheek. She stroked his bicep with her neatly manicured fingers. “Your arms...are so manly.”

“Thanks Hinata!” He said, happily. Kiba watched them suspiciously from a distance. He was in love with her or something. Naruto really couldn't keep up.

His following make out session with Hinata was interrupted when Ino pulled him aside.

“We have a problem. An “unexpected guest” problem.” She said, smiling tightly. “And I just wanna let you know, this is from Suigetsu’s vacation planning side of things, not mine!”

“What are you talking about?” Naruto asked, annoyed that Ino was keeping him from making out with his hot girlfriend with her cryptic comments. But it was then that he saw a familiar duck butt.

 _The bastard got even hotter_ , Naruto thought. He was still a bit taller than Naruto (which was annoying). His shoulders and arms were more defined. He was talking to Suigetsu and ignoring him, which Naruto also unfortunately found attractive.

It was then that Sasuke seemed to spot him. His eyes were guarded, which was completely stupid in Naruto’s opinion, considering he wasn't the one who’d been ghosted for the past two years.

His thought process was cut short by Hinata shyly clutching his arm.

“N-Naruto...do you wanna go diving together?” Diving from the highest deck of the boat had become a pastime for all of them, the past few weeks. Naruto knew Hinata was too nervous to do it alone. He gave her his warmest, most encouraging smile.

“Sure, Hinata! I’m right behind you!” He could see Sasuke watching them from the end of the boat, but couldn't quite read him.

He decided to keep his cool around him. He had grown a lot the past few years, since Sasuke had disappeared. He’d become a sort of champion for the student body, improved his grades, won multiple awards for his athleticism, and his story had circulated throughout magazines, gossip columns, websites and social media, the story of a foster kid with a background of abuse and neglect who had bootstrapped his way into success and mental stability. He was going to live up to that reputation, and put on a happy face through this trip for his friends.

“Alright!” Ino announced, speaking through a megaphone. “As you all know, it’s Neji’s birthday, and so we are going to play Assassin, his favorite game, to celebrate.” Neji gave a rare smile. He loved Assassin. Naruto remembered how enthusiastically he used to enact killing Hinata.

“The rules are simple. The entire beachfront is our playing field, but try to limit how obnoxious you are. Even though this place is a tourist trap, and they really should expect it. Each of us will wear a photo of ourselves around our necks. If someone grabs your photo, they kill you. Once you're a ghost, you have to get back on the boat. Last man standing wins. Okay, let’s get started!”

They gathered their necklaces with the photos attached, and spread out into the beachfront town. The little gift shops made for great hiding places, but Naruto liked to play on the offensive. He spotted Neji gleefully ripping off Hinata’s photo, and decided to avoid him. He got _really_ into this game.

He decided to go for easy targets first. The first up was Shikamaru, who just handed him his photo the second he saw him, and strolled back onto the yacht. The next was Rock Lee, who refused to hide or attempt any kind of sneak attack because it was “cheating”, and also stood in the middle of the street, which made grabbing his photo quickly easy.

He was heading for Kiba next because he was stupid, when a pale hand jutted out between them and grabbed it first.

“Hey!” Kiba yelped.

“Should’ve been quicker,” Sasuke said, looking directly at Naruto and completely ignoring Kiba. Naruto blinked. Of course these would be the first words Sasuke would speak to him after two years.

An old competitive streak flared up in him. “You won't be so lucky next time, bastard!”

“We’ll see.”

Naruto decided to go for Sakura next. That one was also easy, since her and Ino were making out behind a surfboard and just handed him their photos so he would “leave them alone” because “some of us are here to get pussy, not play Neji’s weird homicide game”.

Sasuke had gotten Jugo’s photo while he was distracted by a bird, and Naruto grabbed Karin’s since she was distracted ogling Sasuke. One by one, they killed everyone until they were the last two left in the game. Which was so typical.

“You should just give up now, Sasuke. You know I’m gonna get you eventually!” He cornered Sasuke near a street food stand. His fingers brushed against his photo, but Sasuke ducked out of the way.

“I definitely know how persistent you are,” Sasuke muttered, and Naruto resisted the urge to scream something melodramatic like “why did you leave me without saying goodbye?”

They circled the beach, and Naruto continued to chase Sasuke even as the sun began to set and everyone else had returned to the boat. Sasuke, naturally, didn't give in either.

“It’s getting late,” he said, as Naruto nearly caught him. “Don’t you wanna head back to your girlfriend?”

“Oh, so you know I'm dating someone.” Naruto grinned. “Been keeping tabs on me, huh?” He relished the sight of Sasuke’s smirk fading into something far more petulant.

He was about to make another comment when he suddenly felt Sasuke pressed up close to him. His eyes were oddly intense. And for a brief, thrilling moment, his lips brushed against his.

“I…” Naruto kept his eyes closed, trying to revel in the feeling.

“I win,” Sasuke said against his lips. Naruto’s eyes snapped open, to the sight of his photo in Sasuke’s hand.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Sasuke?”

“Don’t be a sore loser.”

To make matters worse, Ino and Hinata were standing right behind them.

“I...um...came to get you. Since it was getting late,” Hinata said, clearly on the verge of tears.

“Hinata, it’s not what you think,” Naruto said.

“...I know,” she replied, trying to force a smile. “It was just part of the game…”

“Oh come on!” Ino cried out. “He closed his eyes! He leaned in!”

“Y-yes, but…”

“Hinata.” Ino clamped a hand on her shoulder. “Your tits are perfect. You're rich. Get some self respect and stop obsessing over a guy who is obsessed with another guy.” She began to drag Hinata away, and turned her head briefly to call out to them. “And you two! Sort your shit out, the pent up sexual tension is making everyone uncomfortable!”

She left Naruto and Sasuke to stand there in silence.

“So…” Naruto said, awkwardly.

“See you later.” Sasuke had already headed towards the boat.

“What?! Sasuke, you can't just walk away after that!”

“After what? Beating you at assassin? Ruining a relationship you didn't care about anyway?”

“No - stop! Sasuke, stop running away from me!”

It was too late. Sasuke had headed into the boat and was lost in the crowd.

 _Tomorrow_ , Naruto thought, accepting a glass of who-knows-what from Kiba. _Tomorrow I’m gonna get a straight answer._

* * *

He didn’t get a straight answer.

Ino and Suigetsu had crammed every hour of their day with various activities that made it impossible for him to corner Sasuke. And, if he was being honest, he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He sometimes caught Sasuke looking at him with mild frustration, marring his usual cool demeanor, and got the sense he didn’t know what to say either.

Which naturally meant they would channel their energy into one-upping each other in every possible way instead.

It started with Naruto lodging a shot directly at him while they all played beach volleyball. The ball hit Sasuke hard in the stomach, and Naruto relished the sight of him knocked on his ass.

“You need to work on your reflexes,” he said conversationally, as Sasuke glowered and dusted himself off.

Sasuke retaliated when they took surfing lessons as a group, knocking him off the board subtly and showing him up in every possible way.

“What was that you said earlier about reflexes?” He said, absurdly attractive underneath the summer sun. Naruto directed his most venomous glare towards him, which only seemed to amuse him more.

It was later, after Naruto dropped a hot, melting marshmallow on Sasuke during their bonfire on “accident”, that Ino finally pulled him off to the side.

“Remember that very friendly and helpful suggestion I gave earlier about sorting out your sexual tension?” She said through gritted teeth. Naruto decided to play it off.

“What sexual tension?” He said, trying to sound disinterested. He faltered as he saw Ino looking ready to slap him.

“Please, just communicate with him like a normal human being. I know he's socially stunted, but you've exhibited the ability to string together words before so, come on. Talk it out.”

“...Fine,” Naruto muttered. They were all going to drink on the beach after the bonfire. This would definitely be the type of conversation that was significantly improved by alcohol.

He found Sasuke later that night, secluded and leaning against the rocks with a beer can in hand. Naruto had brought one himself. He was pretty sure he would need the buzz.

“Hey.” He said lamely. Sasuke eyed him suspiciously. The moonlight reflected off his hair. It was the sort of thing Naruto would write poetry about if he knew how to write poetry.

“...Hey,” Sasuke said finally, completely unenthusiastic.

“Doesn’t this rock kind of look like a butt?” Naruto said, abruptly grabbing one next to him and shoving it in Sasuke’s face. Sasuke just blinked.

“Sure.” He said, taking a swig of beer.

 _What is wrong with me_ , Naruto thought. Although, in his defense, it was a peculiarly ass shaped rock.

“...Look, it’s fine if you don't want to be around me. But I was really worried when you disappeared, and I think we were good enough friends that you could have told me where you were going.” Naruto said quietly. Sasuke stirred next to him. For a second, Naruto thought he wouldn't respond at all, but his voice cut through the balmy night air.

“I was living with my great uncle Madara and my cousin Obito. In New York City. Turns out I have living relatives,” he paused, staring intently at this beer. “They offered me an out with Orochimaru, and Madara is pretty wealthy himself. It was my best option.”

“Why didn't you tell me,” Naruto whispered. “We were best friends.”

“That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“I can’t understand that.”

Sasuke looked ahead, the breeze rippling through his hair. “You made me want to stay. Even though I knew it wasn't good for me and I would never achieve anything I wanted if I did. I couldn't keep reminding myself what it was like to be around you. I had to cut you out of my life.”

“It doesn't have to be black and white like that! I could've helped you, Sasuke, no one can survive without relying on anyone. It’s okay to be taken care of - “

“Stop projecting.”

“Wh - how am I projecting?” Naruto sputtered. Sasuke turned to look at him, really look at him, for the first time in their entire conversation.

“Who do you rely on? I’ve read all those news stories circulating about you, and you're no different in person. You act like you’re everyone’s life coach and therapist wrapped into one. If you never need anything from anyone, they can’t disappoint you, right? You hide every inconvenient emotion you've ever felt, yet I’m the repressed one?” He smirked. Naruto swallowed heavily, not knowing how to respond.

“And I don't want to be taken care of.” Sasuke continued, bluntly. “What I want is to take down Orochimaru, buy his company for cheap once it's lost its value, sell it for parts, and then use his Yakuza connections to put a hit on Danzo.”

Naruto just stared. “...Okay, so you realize how insane all of that sounded, right?”

“We’re socialites. We scheme and meddle in politics, it’s normal.”

“Look,” Naruto said, feeling like he might lose his mind with frustration. “I just wanted to help you find happiness that didn’t involve convoluted murder plots.” He crushed his now empty beer can. “I know I wasn't the best at showing it in highschool, but you were important to me. You still are. I don't wanna control you. But everyone needs help, and I’m tired of seeing you pretend like you’re the exception to that. You should be able to go anywhere you want and do whatever you want...I just hope you have someone to rely on.”

_And I want to be that someone._

It dawned on Naruto, then. He did want Sasuke to be free to go where he wanted, and to have peace of mind, above all - but it was also important to him that he be the one Sasuke could return to. It felt too selfish to say out loud. He stared at the ground, knowing Sasuke could read between the lines, hoping he wouldn't lash out again.

The silence between them seemed insurmountable. Naruto could practically see the gears turning in Sasuke’s head, and wished he could summon the right combination of words that would communicate to Sasuke exactly how he felt without overwhelming him.

“Okay.” Sasuke said, finally.

“...Okay?”

Sasuke looked at him, bored. “Are you going to talk to me about your feelings all night, or are you gonna get us more beers, loser?”

Naruto wondered how that stupid childhood nickname could immediately alleviate all the tension between them.

Sasuke hadn't let him in, but he hadn't rejected him either. For now, that was enough.

“Fine, I’ll get us beers.” Naruto smiled widely. “But you're buying us drinks tomorrow.”

The rest of the trip was calmer. Ino, naturally, assumed they’d fucked it out.

“Congratulations,” she mouthed at Naruto, the next morning.

“What is she talking about?” Sasuke asked.

“Uh, nothing!”

Sasuke did make good on his promise to buy them drinks. The next three days were a blur of competitive shot drinking, drunken karaoke, night swimming, and movie watching. Naruto wished he had gotten his head out of his ass to talk to Sasuke earlier. He could've had a whole month of this.

It wasn’t until they were getting ready to leave, about to board their planes home, that it occurred to Naruto he should’ve bought some kind of souvenir for Sasuke to remember him by.

“Um, Sasuke, wait!” He rummaged through his bag, trying to think of something to hand him.

“Naruto, I have to catch my flight,” Sasuke said, exasperated.

“I know, just wait a sec!”

He pulled out the ass shaped rock. _Well...it’s something._

“Here,” he said, shoving it bravely towards Sasuke, who took into his hand gingerly, as if it might explode.

“Is this...the ass rock?”

“Yeah. I mean, uh. You know. To remember the trip.” Naruto felt increasingly embarrassed with every word. He was sure he had reached his apex of embarrassment when Sasuke actually began to laugh.

“Oh come on, I couldn't think of anything else to give you,” Naruto said, blushing fiercely. _Why is it that I’ve only heard him laugh twice, and both times, it’s at me?_

“You are such a loser,” Sasuke said, slipping the rock into his pocket and heading onto his flight, not looking back.

* * *

_22_

Naruto and Gaara lay flat on their backs, side by side, sweating.

“So, that was…” Gaara began.

“Yeah, um…” Naruto tried to stall until he could come up with a way to say _I never want to have sex with you again_ without crushing Gaara. Unfortunately, Gaara rolled over to face him, incredibly sincere.

“I would like to know what I can do to help you achieve a more fulfilling orgasm,” he said. Naruto forced a smile.

“Nothing! I mean, you’re already doing great, Gaara. Keep up the good work!”

Then he patted his shoulder encouragingly.

That shoulder pat haunted him all the way on his commute to his new job. Why couldn't he just break things off? They weren’t serious or even exclusive, Gaara was a mature and composed person who definitely would not hold the rejection against him, so why couldn't he just spit it out? _Hey, Gaara, I love you, as a friend, so much. But your dick might actually put me to sleep. Nothing personal._

Naruto had accepted he was bisexual around age twenty. Gaara, who by then had done a complete 180 psychologically and exchanged Korn for 90s ballads and biting people for yoga classes, had asked him out. They had been friends for years. Gaara was a great guy by any standards, known for directing his inherited fortune towards philanthropy. He had been one of the people who had been there for him when Jiraiya passed away a few months ago. When they went on their first date, and Naruto had been nervous, Gaara had suavely taken his hand, made him blush and put him at ease.

So Naruto didn’t understand why even the thought of them being naked together made his boner shrivel up and die.

“Sorry I’m kinda late,” he said, barging into the doors of Spectator, a magazine he’d recently begun working as a journalist for. Sakura was waiting at the door, obviously impatient.

“What took you so long? Tsunade is driving me crazy, she wants coffee from that place across the street to deal with her hangover. She's so picky about these things.” Sakura was already in a position above him, having spent much of the past few years kissing up to Tsunade to ensure a place on her magazine before she even graduated college.

“I got it,” Naruto said resignedly. “Don’t wanna deal with hungover granny Tsunade.”

“Get me some too! And Shizune! Oh, and Kakashi!” Sakura called out behind him.

He was picking up everyone’s coffee when he ran into Sai. Wearing a cropped sweater and an empty smile, as always.

“Naruto. You were awfully late this morning. We wondered where you were.”

“Well, now I’m getting everyone their coffee, so if you’ll excuse me,” Naruto said, shoving past him.

“You seem to be in a mood. Are things not going well with you and Gaara?”

Naruto nearly tripped. “How do you know about me and Gaara?!”

“You’ve been trending on social media. You were also on a buzzfeed list called Top Ten Society Darlings We Never Expected To Be Gay.”

“Great.” Naruto muttered. “Well, we’re not having problems, and we’re not even serious, so mind your own business!”

“From your tone, you certainly do have problems. Maybe he is sexually unsatisfied by the size of your penis.”

Naruto whipped around. “Okay, for the last time Sai. I have a perfectly average sized dick, and I am not sexually unsatisfying - “

He realized most of the coffee shop was staring at him.

But there was one pair of eyes in particular that really made him flush with embarrassment. Sasuke Uchiha, standing there with his coffee, smirking in that insufferable way that meant he had heard everything.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Sai said pleasantly. “Sasuke is going to be working with us from now on.”

“Hey,” Sasuke said, as Naruto wished the ground would swallow him whole. “Looking forward to working with you.”

* * *

“So the opinion pieces you two submitted were an unmitigated disaster,” Tsunade paced her office impatiently. Naruto and Sasuke stood in front of her, awaiting assessment.

“Sasuke, your observations are astute, but the conclusions are always absurdly extreme. We can’t publish this. Naruto, ‘I want peace’ is not a compelling statement. Everyone on every point of a political spectrum will say they want peace. It’s like you’re so fixated on pleasing everyone you end up saying nothing at all.” She sat down at her desk, rubbing her fingers on her temple. “I don't wanna fire you two, but you are making it extremely difficult.”

“Why don't we go through with my Oto pitch,” Sasuke muttered irritably.

“Because your accusations are bold and our leads are unreliable,” Tsunade snapped at him.

“I’m a first hand witness.”

“You could be written off as a jilted adoptee bitter over a personal squabble. You did abruptly run off from him, remember? It can't just be your word."

“Okay, hold on.” Naruto interrupted. “What the hell is going on?”

Sasuke gave a long suffering sigh, and turned to him. “I have a story I want to write on Oto, and Tsunade thinks it’s too much of a risk.” He said, bitingly.

“It is too much of a risk. It implicates one of the most popular men in the world, for God’s sake.” Tsunade folded her hands beneath her chin. “Unless your evidence is air tight, we can’t write this story.”

“I can help,” Naruto said unthinkingly. Sasuke and Tsunade both looked at him in surprise

“I, uh, have my own connections!” He said hurriedly. He actually didn't know how much use his connections would be for a story like this, but he would try for Sasuke. “At least give it a chance, Granny Tsunade! Let us investigate and then you can decide if it’s too crazy.” He avoided looking at Sasuke as he said this, although he knew Sasuke’s eyes were trained on him.

They had only kept in touch sporadically the past few years, but he had never stopped thinking about Sasuke. This was his chance to help him finally get closure on his childhood tragedy. And to show him achieving his goals and being around Naruto weren't mutually exclusive.

“You’re sure you can handle this?” Tsunade asked, raising a well groomed eyebrow.

“You bet I am! In fact, I bet I can find us leads before the end of the week!”

In hindsight, that statement had kind of been pushing it.

The rest of his week was a flurry of desperate phone calls and meeting for coffee. He knew Sasuke was hitting dead end after dead end too. He was at the end of his rope when one of Jiraiya’s old connections finally pulled through for him.

“Jiraiya’s godfather, Hiruzen Sarutobi, is holding a masquerade celebrating selling his company to Oto.” He told Tsunade excitedly, at the end of the week. “I know who’s going, basically everyone who worked for, with, or helped create Oto will be there. Including people Sasuke thinks might talk! We have to go!”

“Hm,” Tsunade said. “It’s a gamble, but alright. Try not to look too conspicuous, though. Bring dates. It’ll help you seem like normal guests.”

Initially, this didn't seem to be a problem. Naruto would bring Gaara, who could handle himself at these kind of events. But then it occurred to him that Sasuke would have to bring a date as well, and that this wasn’t a concept he was entirely comfortable with.

Especially as the date happened to be Sakura.

“What the hell,” he said flatly, when Sasuke mentioned it to him off handedly.

“What? She’s a journalist too and I need to look like a normal party goer.”

“You’re gay.”

“So?”

“So,” Naruto said, with the air of explaining something to a particularly stubborn toddler, “you need to let her know she’s a beard.”

Sasuke blinked. “If she hasn't figured that out by now, I really can’t help her.”

“She thinks she’s in love with you!”

“Don’t remind me,” Sasuke said, pouring himself some coffee.

Alright. So there would be an unexpected, annoying little hurdle at the masquerade. But it would be fine. Naruto had his own date. He wasn’t some jealous freak who couldn’t handle his shit for one party. This would be a drama free event.

This was what he was telling himself when he learned that Sai, the third person he’d gotten an invite for as he was a part of the investigation, was bringing Ino as a plus one.

“Really?” He demanded. “You’re dating? You expect people to buy that?”

“I mean, most people wouldn't, but Sakura probably will. She doesn't even get that Sasuke doesn't even like her. I just wanna piss her off.” Ino said, shrugging.

“I just like starting shit,” Sai said, cheerfully.

“You guys can't do anything to mess up the investigation,” Naruto said seriously. “This is important to Sasuke.”

“Oh, I see,” Sai said. “This is all so you can get dick from Sasuke.”

“Wh-I actually care about him, you asshole!”

“That’s not mutually exclusive with wanting to get dick,” Ino said wisely.

“It’s not for Sasuke’s dick,” Naruto told Shikamaru later. He had been sharing a flat with him since Jiraiya’s mansion got too depressing for him after his death. And he hated living alone.

“Maybe if you keep repeating that, it’ll become true,” Shikamaru said, bored.

“Oh, Gaara’s here!” Naruto bound towards the door when he heard the bell ring. He was greeted not only by Gaara, who was holding a huge bouquet of flowers for him, but also Sasuke, Sakura, Sai, and Ino.

“Hey!” said Ino. “We came together. Limo’s outside.”

Shikamaru appraised the group with a look of mild horror. “Oh, hell no.”

“What?” Naruto barked out. Shikamaru sighed, got his vape pen out.

“Nothing. Enjoy the highschool drama relapse.”

* * *

They were clustered together at one table. Gaara had scooted his chair oddly close to Naruto. Sakura was looking at Sasuke hopefully, as if any moment he might sweep her off her feet and make out with her. Sasuke was preoccupied with his mountain of pasta. Ino kept pouring herself wine, Sai kept making passive aggressive comments about Naruto’s lackluster sex life that luckily went completely over Gaara’s head. Naruto wished Ino would stop hogging all the fucking wine.

“Our first lead is Kabuto, and it’s best that I approach him alone,” Sasuke explained to the group.

“Kabuto agreed to talk?” Naruto was surprised, considering Kabuto had followed Orochimaru around with a creepy worshipfulness for as long as he could remember.

“No. But I have something on him. Let’s just say he enjoys watersports, and there happens to be an audio recording of it.”

Naruto squinted in confusion. “Watersports?”

“As in...he enjoys golden showers.”

“Yeah, still don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“It means he has a piss kink,” Sai said pleasantly. Naruto gaped.

“And this is recorded?!“

"Yeah, I wanted to get something on him, so I bugged his room as a teenager. I told him that either he talks, or I leak the recording to his wife. Their marriage is already on the rocks since he’s, you know. Kabuto.”

“Blackmail and coercion for an investigation on this scale is a bad idea,” Gaara said. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have a better suggestion?”

“I can’t say I do. But you’re not the only one on this project, and you’re not the only one who could face consequences. And frankly, you have a history of acting with complete disregard for others.” Gaara folded his hands neatly as he spoke. Naruto felt irritation well up inside him. Were they really doing this now?

Sasuke just smirked. “And you’ve always been such a balanced person, right Gaara?”

“No. But some of us let go of that sort of juvenile behavior as kids. Others prolong it indefinitely.”

“Okay!” Naruto said. “How about some wine?”

“No, let’s get into this.” Ino cut in, suddenly. “How Sasuke thinks he can just waltz in, steal people’s girlfriends, when he doesn't even actually want them!”

Gaara seemed uncomfortable. “That’s...not really what I was trying to address, and in fact I don’t know what you are referencing - “

“When are you gonna get it through your head that I didn’t dump you because of Sasuke?” Sakura piped up. “It’s because you refuse to really commit!”

“Oh and Sasuke commits? He won’t even kiss you!”

“Sasuke loves me! He pokes my forehead, which is even better than a kiss!”

“Oh right, I’m so sorry,” Ino said, rolling her eyes. “Who could forget the intimate power of a forehead poke? Nothing is more orgasmic than a fucking forehead poke!”

There was a long silence at the table before Sai spoke.

“Is forehead poke a euphemism for something else?”

“No, Sai, it isn’t,” Naruto said tiredly.

“Oh, I see.” He turned to Sakura with his usual blank, placid smile. “You should consider buying a vibrator.”

* * *

They agreed to split up after that to get to their leads more efficiently. Ino and Sakura were going to meet a woman named Tayuya, Sai and Gaara would meet with a man named Sakon. To Gaara’s discomfort, Sasuke and Naruto would be meeting Kabuto and then Kimmimaro together.

Kabuto was fairly easy. He handed over a flash drive containing a collection of audio clips and records of his and Orochimaru’s experiments in a frenzy, with hissed whispers to Sasuke on keeping his “little secret” under wraps.

“How do I know you won’t send it to my wife, anyway?” He asked, harshly.

“Guess you’ll just have to trust me,” Sasuke replied, smiling.

The next lead was significantly harder.

“Kimmimaro was one of Orochimaru’s adopted children. He was a prodigy in biochemistry. Orochimaru always did like collecting prodigies.” Sasuke explained to him as they approached Kimmimaro, a skittish figure with a white masquerade mask. He had a wild, fragile look to him. “Orochimaru bought him a separate apartment with aids when he got really sick, and basically never spoke to him again. And then he adopted me. Kimmimaro was reluctant to do this. I don’t think he really let go of the idea of Orochimaru being a father figure, even while being one of his experiment subjects.”

There was a question weighing on Naruto as Sasuke spoke, one that he felt afraid to ask. “Sasuke...were you a subject?”

Sasuke didn’t elaborate, just looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “That’s not really relevant.”

Kimmimaro still seemed reticent as they approached. “You’re the journalists?”

“That’s right!” Naruto said cheerfully. Sasuke went straight to business, and hit record on his tape.

“What was the time period in which Orochimaru conducted his experiments?” Naruto cringed inwardly at Sasuke’s bluntness.

“From the time he adopted me when I was twelve, to when I was sixteen.” Kimmimaro replied, no emotion coloring his voice.

“And did these experiments continue even while you were sick?”

“...Yes,” Kimmimaro said, but his face constricted in a way that let Naruto know he was uncomfortable.

“Sasuke, turn off the tape for a bit,” He said, quietly. Sasuke looked at him questioningly, but didn’t protest.

“Listen, this doesn't have to be an interrogation,” Naruto told Kimmimaro, who shifted nervously. “I get that this is hard for you.”

“It’s shameful,” he said. “Broadcasting my victimhood to thousands of strangers, how I wanted Orochimaru’s approval. His love. Knowing how people will see me.”

“I get it,” Naruto said softly. “I was in foster care for years, then I got adopted by one of the richest men in the world. I had to repackage every shitty thing that happened to me as some kind of inspiring success story. Looking back, I wish I could’ve been more honest about how I felt. Had more closure.”

“And you don't think you would be judged for your honesty? Seen as a perpetually degraded victim?” Kimmimaro asked.

“I probably would! You might be too. But it’s worth it to reach people and form real connections with them!” Naruto didn't miss Sasuke looking at him thoughtfully. “There are people who won’t see you as degraded! They’ll respect what you’ve been through. You have to trust that people like that exist.”

Kimmimaro nodded. Naruto smiled and switched the tape back on, relieved that his clumsy attempt at making him more comfortable seemed to have worked. The rest of the interview was mostly Kimmimaro’s words, his story told chronologically in accordance with what felt most important to him.

Him and Sasuke stepped out into the balcony for a moment, after finishing with Kimmimaro.

“You’re a good person,” Sasuke said, casually. He wasn’t looking at him, was instead gazing out at the sprawling nightlife underneath them.

“Uh, thanks!” Naruto wasn't sure what to say. It was rare for Sasuke to praise him so directly. As a teenager, he had clung to every bit of his attention and acknowledgment. He tried to tell himself it didn't affect him in the same way now, despite the warmth blooming inside of him.

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, then sighed.

“Thank you. For helping me with this.” He said stiffly. “I know I haven’t been a good friend to you.”

Naruto didn’t know how to respond. It was true that Sasuke had been absent, dropping in and out of his life when what he’d needed was consistency and comfort. When Jiraiya died, he hadn’t been there.

But even with his clarity on Sasuke’s faults, he couldn’t muster up real, lasting anger towards him.

“You had your own serious shit going on,” he said.

“Still. And now you’re risking yourself for me. Gaara isn’t wrong that this could be a corrupted investigation. If it’s exposed how we handled Kabuto, I’ll take the fall alone.”

Naruto’s gaze softened. “I know you would. You're...selfless like that. But you know I would never let you do that.”

“Why not?”

“You’re my friend,” he said simply. He didn’t understand why Sasuke looked somewhat frustrated.

“Let’s meet up with the others,” he said, and Naruto followed.

* * *

Ino and Sakura arrived with bad news.

“That Tayuya girl isn't a lead, she's an informant,” Sakura said, adjusting her light pink masquerade mask. “She kept asking all of these baiting questions, and then we noticed she had a recorder of her own peeking out of her purse. Someone is trying to sabotage the investigation.”

“That's not surprising.” Sasuke scanned his surroundings. “I’m surprised we didn’t run into something like this earlier.”

“So what do we do?” Naruto asked.

“First, we find out who’s hiring her.” Sasuke replied. “It’s not Orochimaru or his people. He just killed journalists, he wouldn't bother with all of this.”

“Well, that really only leaves one option.” Sai said. “Who else could stand to benefit from Oto? Who has a vested interest in its success, and happens to be present at this ball?”

They all knew who Sai meant.

They cornered Hiruzen Sarutobi shortly after, in the balcony. Naruto approached him first.

“Hi!” He extended his hand for Hiruzen to shake. “You might remember me, I’m Jiraiya’s godson! We met a few times.”

“I remember,” Hiruzen said, smiling genially. If he was nervous, he didn't show it.

“Let’s cut to the chase,” Sakura said. “You’re sabotaging our investigation. We know it, don’t deny it,” she interrupted Hiruzen as he tried to open his mouth. Naruto had forgotten how scary Sakura could be when she wanted to. He noticed Ino was smiling. Probably turned on.

“We just wanna know what’s gonna make you ease up,” Sakura said. “Money? Sasuke here will inherit Oto, he can work with you once Orochimaru is in prison.”

“I don't want to work with him - ow!” Sasuke winced as Naruto stepped on his foot.

“Like she said, Sasuke will work with you!” He told Hiruzen brightly. The old man just shook his head.

“It’s not for the money,” he said. “Orochimaru is like a son to me.”

Everyone stared at him.

“I understand it is hard to believe, but he was very important to me for a long time.”

“Even though he was slicing and dicing babies?” Naruto asked.

“He didn't ‘slice and dice babies’, the children he experimented on were twelve at minimum.”

“You know you just admitted to being aware of the experiments,” Sai said.

“But I never participated. I simply couldn’t bring myself to report him.”

“Yeah, have you ever heard of participation in criminal conspiracy?” Sakura looked at him incredulously.

“If you refuse to see my point of view, it can’t be helped.” Hiruzen said sadly. He pulled out a strange remote of sorts and pressed a red button. “You will have to disappear.”

 _Old man has an evil villain button to summon henchmen_ , Naruto realized, amazed.

Immediately, a group of men in suits burst through the door, and Hiruzen retreated into a back room. Sakura immediately went into a blind rage, which was typical, and started trying to bash their heads in. Gaara looked on in horror. Ino seemed like she wanted Sakura to fuck her. Sai looked like he wanted some popcorn.

Sasuke caught one of the men in a chokehold, and Naruto was excitedly about to join in the fighting when Gaara held him back.

“You can’t kill Hiruzen’s men,” he said patiently.

“Why not?” Sasuke asked, squeezing one of the mens’ neck tighter. Gaara looked like he had a migraine.

“Because we can’t be implicated in the murder of multiple bodyguards during an already controversial investigation,” he told him, somehow keeping his voice calm. “It will hurt your credibility when you publish the story.”

Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura looked at each other in annoyance and then, disappointedly, let the guards go. The guards were intimidated enough by their random show of bloodthirst that they didn't make an attempt to attack again.

They decided to make their way out of the building as subtly as possible.

“I thought it was hot,” Ino told Sakura soothingly as they walked out of the building. “You can let all that violent energy out some other way tonight.” She winked. Sakura frowned.

“Ino, I have a boyfriend.”

“No you don’t,” Ino said.

“...Yeah, I don't,” Sakura said, wilting. “He stares at me blankly every time I try to have sex with him. I showed up with a strap on once and he handed me a pillow to rut into. But, what about you and Sai?”

“What about us?” Ino asked, rolling her eyes. “Sai and I have no relationship outside of borrowing each other’s crop tops.”

Sakura laughed. “Alright...I guess we can try to make this work again.”

They left together when their cab stopped at Ino’s flat, and Naruto felt somewhat jealous. Why did everyone know how to work things out except him?

Gaara’s stop was next. “Are we still on for tomorrow?”

It took Naruto a moment to figure out he was talking about their date. “Oh, uh, yeah! Sure.”

With him gone, it was just him, Sasuke, and Sai.

“Oh, I recorded everything Hiruzen was saying. We have the airtight evidence Tsunade said we needed.” There was grim satisfaction in Sasuke’s voice.

“So...what do you think you’re going to do after this story?” Naruto asked, trying to sound casual.

“Haven't thought about it,” Sasuke replied. “Why do you ask?”

“Naruto is hoping you will make time for him now that you have closure on your past,” Sai interjected.

“Sai!” Naruto yelped. He could tell the cab driver was listening in now. “It’s not like that, Sasuke, I wanted to help you - “

“True.” Sai said. “But it was also for your dick. For Naruto’s sake, I hope your equipment is more impressive than his.”

Naruto’s face was burning. Sasuke’s eyes were wide.

“I just...it wasn't a plan, or anything, okay. But I have feelings for you. Obviously. I have for a long time.” He said all this in a rush. “And I already know you don't feel the same way, so - “

“Who said I don't?” Sasuke asked. “You were the one who always called us _friends_." He spat it out like a dirty word. “And - you were always with someone.” His voice broke a bit as he added the last part. It dawned on Naruto that maybe Sasuke had been longing for him all this time too. The bastard just hid it behind his stupid poker face.

“Well, you were always pushing me away! Ever since highschool. Sometimes you’d look at me, and I would think maybe you felt the same way, but then something would just - just change, and you became more distant than ever.”

"I pushed you away because of how I felt about you. I was clear about that."

"Yeah, and that still makes zero sense to me," Naruto started, before remembering Sai was still there,

"This is riveting. Don't stop on my account," Sai deadpanned. It occurred to Naruto that late at night, in a cab with Sai was not where he wanted to do this.

"Later," he said. "You and I are gonna talk later."

* * *

The next few weeks were a flurry of activity.

Organizing the article was enough work in itself. They had to craft a linear, cohesive story out of a collection of extremely personal varied, disturbing testimonies. They had to make it palatable to a large audience without sugarcoating the reality of the experiments. 

Naruto’s complete mess of a personal life wasn’t helping his concentration.

“Heard you broke things off with Gaara,” Sai said over coffee. “No accounting for taste, I suppose.”

“Shut up,” Naruto said shortly.

Sai gave him an odd look. “I hope you know I do care for you. I just hope breaking things off will be worth it.” 

“...I know.” Naruto did know. He also knew how much every one of his friends except Sakura mistrusted Sasuke. “Thanks.”

The story, once published, was an enormous success. They had accumulated more leads since the masquerade, creating what was one of the most comprehensive and detailed exposes of their time. Orochimaru managed to walk away from jail after paying an enormous bail, and then promptly disappeared. To their surprise, he entrusted Oto to Sasuke.

“Typical,” Sasuke said. “This was just a game to him. This is him showing me respect.”

He ended up selling Oto for parts, as he had said he would, now that it had lost its value. Sasuke's uncle, Madara, had unofficially left him his hitman connections, and Danzo Shimura was found weeks later dead on his toilet. Officially, due to a rare bowel disease.

“I only wish I could prove his guilt for my parents’ murder,” Sasuke said, sighing. “To clear Itachi’s name properly. But, selling Oto did get me enough money to bribe a judge to release him.”

Sure enough, Itachi was ruled innocent. The case was declared inconclusive. It occurred to Naruto all the illegal shit Sasuke was doing could come back to bite him one day, but well, that's what he had those new hitman connections for.

It was shortly after Danzo’s death when Sasuke appeared, suddenly, on his doorstep, drenched in rain.

“Hey,” Naruto said, sleepily. It was the middle of the night, and him and Sasuke hadn't interacted outside of a professional context in weeks.

“Hey,” Sasuke said back. He seemed to struggle with something for a bit, and then exhaled. “I was thinking about you.”

“You wanna come in?”

“You should probably hear what I have to say first.”

“Okay.” Naruto willed himself to be patient. It was rare for Sasuke to speak so...personally.

“I did what I had to do,” he said.

“I know, I’m not judging you - “

“No, I mean. I had to. Since the murders, I felt like I couldn't be happy unless I’d gotten some kind of justice. Some closure.”

Naruto nodded. He understood that this had been a duty to Sasuke, not something you indulged in out of pleasure. 

“It didn't make you happy in the end, huh?” Naruto asked.

“No, but I didn’t expect it to. It was thrilling, in a way, but I never expected happiness.” He looked at Naruto with startling sincerity. “But now that I’ve done what I had to do, I’m gonna do what I’ve always wanted to do.”

Naruto was confused for a moment, before he realized this was Sasuke asking permission. Permission to be with him. 

He pulled him close and crushed his lips against his.

“Naruto,” Sasuke was taken aback.

“You asshole,” Naruto said, grinning widely against his lips, leaning against his soaked shirt, more elated than he had ever been in his life. Kissing Sasuke felt inevitable. It felt like something he ought to have done years ago. “You know how I feel. You have to by now.” 

“Still wanna hear you say it,” Sasuke said, but moved into kiss him before he could respond, pressing him against a wall.

* * *

Their first vacation together was in the Swiss Alps.

The snow fell in thick sheets outside their window. Naruto could see it through the wispy, white curtains of their room, made somewhat translucent by candlelight. It was beautiful, but Naruto had more arresting sights capturing his attention.

Like for example, Sasuke Uchiha sprawled out on his stomach, in front of him.

“Some time today, loser.” He said, somehow managing to look haughty and composed even with his ass up.

“Have some patience, princess,” Naruto growled. Then he realized what he’d just said, and turned red as a mocking smile spread across Sasuke’s face.

“Princess,” he echoed.

“Sh-shut up!”

“Do I seem like I’d be turned on being called princess?” He drawled. “I spent the past few years plotting a high profile political assassination.”

“And you’re super proud of it, I know,” Naruto said bitingly. “Can I eat your ass now or what?”

Sasuke’s eyes sparkled. “If you insist.”

Naruto spread him open, slowly. “I can't believe you’ve never had a rim job before.”

“Consider yourself lucky that you’re the first person that gets to stick his tongue up my ass.”

“I do consider myself lucky,” Naruto said seriously. He kissed all the way down Sasuke’s spine, reverently, and then stopped teasingly above his hole. He slid in a finger, relishing in Sasuke’s sharp inhale.

“Is this okay? Tell me if not.”

“I’m fine,” Sasuke said softly. Naruto slid in another finger, carefully gauging his reaction. Sasuke’s eyes fluttered shut. Naruto could feel all the tension leaving his body.

He started to eat him out for real, nipping and licking into the soft skin until Sasuke had unraveled into gasps and moans.

“Naruto,” he said, voice tight.

“Yeah?”

“...You’re actually good at this.”

Naruto let out a surprised laugh. “Good to know, Sasuke.”

When they’d finished, Sasuke was clearly drained, and fell asleep almost immediately. Naruto left the candles burning for a short while longer, trying to memorize the sight of Sasuke next to him, face unmarred by anger or unhappiness or discontent, chest rising and falling slowly, illuminated by warm, soft light. He put the candles out reluctantly, not really feeling like he’d had his fill.

But then again, he didn't think he could ever really get tired of looking at Sasuke.

* * *

They spent the following day exploring gift shops and restaurants. Naruto smiled delightedly at a music box at the gift shop, and the next thing he knew, Sasuke was already paying for it.

It was these little things that would be forever embedded in his memory. How Sasuke grabbed him instinctively when he stumbled while skiing, then teased him for making a fool of himself. How their mugs of hot chocolate at a small cafe looked next to each other, one decorated with whipped cream and a variety of toppings and the other plain, made with dark chocolate because of course Sasuke hated sweet things.

“Hold on, lemme take a photo!”

“Of what, our drinks?”

“Yeah! Obviously! Yanno, this is why your instagram sucks ass.”

Sasuke scoffed, but moved aside so Naruto could get a good angle on their drinks anyway, smiling a bit as Naruto excitedly replied to comments from Sakura and Ino.

Somewhere between rummaging through an old bookstore and watching the sun set over the Alps, Naruto was hit with a fierce urge for Sasuke to bang him senseless. They headed back to their cabin in a hurry, barely getting their clothes off before falling into bed.

“Now who’s impatient, princess?” Sasuke said, dryly. Naruto flushed.

“You never let me live anything down!”

He pushed Sasuke back onto the bed, and he went down easily, watching him. He lubed himself up in a hurry, definitely not being thorough enough but not really caring, and slammed his hips down hard.

“Fuck,” Sasuke said hoarsely. His fingers gripped Naruto’s hips tightly, and Naruto dug into his shoulders just as intensely as he rode him.

He fucked himself vigorously on Sasuke’s cock, but Sasuke gripped him fiercely right before he could reach completion, not letting him finish.

“Sasuke,” he gasped out, pleading.

“I want you on your back,” Sasuke told him. Naruto cursed and slid off of him, falling back. Sasuke left hard, biting kisses down his neck, and whispered into the crook of his collarbone, “ready?”

“Yeah, shit, just do it already!” Naruto didn't think he’d ever been this desperate to come before.

He entered him, set a brutal pace. Naruto lost track of time with Sasuke inside him. He felt his hips stutter, then give out, and wrapped his arms around Sasuke to pull him into a series or kisses, alternating between biting and desperate and gentle.

They lay in silence after that. Naruto untangled himself from Sasuke and stared up at the ceiling. He was almost asleep when he heard Sasuke’s voice.

“Naruto,” he began, oddly reluctant. “What does this...what would you call us? Our relationship?”

Naruto froze. Sasuke always wanted a clear label, an explanation of what Naruto truly felt. Naruto always struggled to answer. The way he felt about Sasuke was too big and nebulous to put into words. And even if he did manage, what if all he accomplished was making Sasuke feel stifled, controlled, bound by personal obligation, just as he’d felt his entire life?

“I...you’re really important to me,” Naruto said, still looking at the ceiling, avoiding Sasuke's gaze. “And you always will be. And...it hurts to be without you.” He swallowed heavily. “But that doesn't make you, um, obligated to do anything. You can do and go wherever you want.”

“...I want to be with you,” Sasuke said, plainly. “As long as you want me, that is.”

“And what if I want you forever?” Naruto whispered.

Sasuke leaned over him and brushed a sweaty bang off his forehead. “Then I’ll stay with you forever.”

Naruto’s face split into the sort of smile that almost hurt. “Well, then I guess we’re really stuck with each other, bastard.”


End file.
